When I start to doubt that you really like me
       I remember the way you held my hands and kissed me at my car


When I start to wonder if this is all a big mistake        
                                    I remember laughing with you


When I start to fear that you'll find someone else
           I remember when you said that you've never met anyone like me

And when I start to worry what people will say
                       I remember how amazingly calm you make me feel.


We have something that's growing and developing and I love that you wanted me to meet your parents and that you keep me warm. I love that there is no pressure. I love that I like you and you like me. 

I love that that's all there needs to be.
Word.
[hhahahaha]



 
 
"Sometimes things are not as we'd like them. That does not mean that they go away, instead our expectations must change."
I have no idea who said that [Google doesn't even know, GASP!]
but it's how I'm living my life. I've spent too long not liking my situation and not changing my expectations. And by "situation", I mean guys.
My love life.
My lack of love life.
However you'd put it. 

True life: I haven't been blogging because I've only wanted to write about one thing. Or really, one person. But I knew I'd get crap. And it's not that I don't respect your opinion, but it's my life. If you don't like my choices, well that's fine and dandy but it doesn't change anything. 

I'm done waiting for Mr. Right [or whatever you'd like to call him]
Instead I found a guy who I like and who likes me. 
Nope, he doesn't fit the guy I was originally looking for.
Nope, most of you won't approve.
But you love me, and so you'll respect my choice, yeah?
Yeah.
Fun fact! In French, "yeah" is: ouis. It sounds like "way" and is awesome! 
 
 
I think memories are weird.
I'm known for remembering names and random facts about people that I've heard of, and while I love that [even though it's odd] I still have problems remembering easy things. And where's the weird part?
I think in photos and feelings.
When I think of Veronica the first thing I think of is a freeze frame of her in Silver Diner, because that's the last place I saw her. However when I think of Marissa I have this rush of emotion, a hazy snapshot of a coffee place we frequent combined with the feeling of running through a field.
All of my friends are like that in my mind, either a picture or a rush of feelings, never more or less.
No voices.
No film clip.
Nothing the way I think a normal memory should be.

But then whose to say what's normal?
I'm going to go on a quest to see how other people remember things.


Here are some things that I remember when I think of certain people:
-so many pictures of you rush by it discombobulates me a bit
-curly hair and sunshine
-your lovely innocent smile, I couldn't draw you but I could write you a poem
-rocking chairs and a back I would've kissed
-cocaine and the smell of alcohol
-joy, flowing skirts and summer air
-a girl who never recognizes her reflection
-a picture with blue walls behind you and a laugh coming from your mouth
-an feeling of peace

Have fun guessing who these are my friends :)  Feel free to ask!
 

Today

09/14/2011

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Today I will clean my room:
Picture
I will wear fun makeup:
Picture
I will think about him a lot:
Picture
I will miss thinking about Him:
Picture
And so I will listen to him:
Picture
And try to get back to being confident, assured, and at peace:
Picture
And even though this post was short and probably pointless to most of you, it's helping me get over the writers block that I have concerning my blog.