We all care differently
About different things
Living in different worlds,
And then we get upset when others don't care about what WE care about.
It's weird.

It's weird how I see it in myself,
When I see my friend hating something that I have learned
Is not the worst thing in the world.
And it scares me to think that,
Because it means that somewhere someone is thinking the same thing
About me, and what I care about. 

But it's not about me
Or about you,
It's just the things that we do
That matter in the end.
So I can get up on my horse that is quite tall 
And deem your cause less worthy than mine,
But even that won't matter unless I do something about it.


---And that is my weird train of thought---
 
 
Picture
It's so easy for things to blow up in friendships. Or relationships in
general, especially using technology. It is exceptionally easy for me
to get hurt, hurt others, and a multitude of other things that could
be avoided if things were talked out in person.

A friendship is definitely over, and maybe I should be more sad.
Mainly I just feel the weight of angry words that I was not expecting.
I would be more sad if the friend was in my life, but she's distanced
herself so much that there will be no noticeable difference.
She's rejected me to the point that my heart associates her with
canceling and a friendship put on hold.
Really the thing that I wanted-to still hang out in groups with her
occasionally,
has definitely been ruined.

I think people underestimate the power of offense.
I offended her, so she offended me.
Isn't offense just an outcry of pride?
Looks like yet again, pride has come into play, and before I could
call time-out, the game is over.
Neither side won.

 
 
I've often wanted to blog about pictures that have inspired me, either to create, to sit in awe, or to look inside myself. This is one of those blog posts:
When I scrolled past this picture in my Tumblr feed early this morning (Yes, I may have been in class, and YES I should have been listening. Don't judge!) my eyes jumped to #2 and half way through a face popped up. Of a girl who I used to love and hold in high regard; I loved that she was in my group of friends and that we shared a special bond. However these days, she mostly bails on me and never returns my texts. 
She shows me through her actions that to her, our friendship is not in high regards. And I've come to realize that in my life...
I don't need people like that.
 
 
One of the nice things about living in a technology driven culture is that when you want to not deal with rudeness and fighting, you can just turn off your phone. (Sometimes. Not always of course)

Tonight, I am ignoring my trials and tribulations. The things I could fight about but do not want to. The words I could write but see no use in them.

Tonight I relish in the fact that tonight will always be tonight. Dusk will always fall and make beautiful silhouettes of the trees in my backyard, their beautiful green replaced with a different kind of beauty. 
Rudeness does not affect them.
And tonight, rudeness will not affect me.
I am not untouchable because I do still feel the hurt of a message waiting to be written, a message that will hurt a friend who hurt me.
Hurts can go unsung, but eventually they need to do just that-
sing out. 
Not in harsh words or words that will tear down.
An explanation will suffice. An explanation I still do not look forward to giving. 

I still feel the sting of abrupt and impatient words that ended a phone call this evening. 
Not my words, not my choice.
And like the tree branches, my spirit sways.
But I refuse to not let the peace of tonight wash over me.
I refuse to not feel content with my life.
 
 
I just changed my 'About Me' section of this blog!
It's super scandalous.
And sexy.
If by both of those things you mean:
Has links to other blogs I enjoy and my Tumblr.
As well as a cool picture of words that I love.


Basically?
It's super steamy.
 
 
my book.
I decided long ago what it would consist of:
letters.

To everyone. To everything. To God. To life. To myself.
And no, there is no list of who is first, whose is longest, and whose simply comprises of a precise sketch of the middle finger; I simply try to write them on the same day as they come to me.
Of course I've already failed.
------>Glad to have gotten that out of the way.
But I have managed to write two days in a row.

Here's a snippet: 

You encouraged me to write, and I thank you for that.
You taught me how to turn touching someone's hand into something marvelous, and I thank you for that too.
But mostly I thank you for staying gone.
 
 
Picture
At least that's what they lyrics are to a song I used to adore in high school.

Here I am, at age 22, and I'm advising someone on how to not have drama in their friendships. 

How did I get here and when did I arrive!?!
This is craziness, but don't worry, I can't let it go to my head because I have had so much drama in so many friendships/relationships that it's about time I actually learned something from it. 

So my view on all this, if you're wondering is:
Well. As a girl I happen to know that we all talk. Maybe it's gossip, maybe it's not. Maybe it's harmless sharing about how much we love our other friends. Or how we're concerned for them. Or how it's amazing how intense their farts are, and how maybe we could all chip in for gas masks for the group ;)

Either way, we may or may not cluck like hens. (Unless that's an offensive term, then WE DO NOT CLUCK and WE ARE NOT POULTRY). But taking into account all the talking that we do, I find that rules are good. For example, if Veronica and I talk about how much we love Stephanie, and later on I meet with Stephanie, I find that it's okay to tell her what we said. 
If we were talking about how Stephanie shaved her head and looks like Brittany Spears, and then I hang out with Stephanie and tell her about it? Well that's not cool. Now if I want to say that her hair makes her look like she's on crack, that's fine. But bring another friend into it?
Wrongo. 
My main thing is to never bring in an outside person unless you've previously agreed on it. Veronica is one of my best friends, so yes, I do talk to her a ton. I vent. This can't be helped. I know a lot of girls who say "oh, just don't talk bad about fill in the blank" And that's great. 
For them.
Cause I certainly can't do it. 

I am more likely to say nice things, because honestly, and here's my second piece of advice:
I've chosen my friends.
So should you.
If your friends don't act like they consider you as a friend, it's time to get rid of them or talk to them about it. 
I've heard one of my friends say often how one of his guy friends treats him like crap. And to me, you know what that sounds like?
Not a friend.
In fact, not even a person I would talk to, go out of my way to hang out with, or even associate myself with. 

Friends really do affect you. Friends who inspire negative feelings in your heart, you should really consider if they are in fact your friend.
Even if they make you feel good, maybe they are not good for you.
How do you know?
Ask those around you. 

Fun guidelines! 
If you are more likely to:
a. snort something
b. inject something
c. steal something
d. drive drunk
e. throw up
f. get arrested
g. not act like yourself/not be true to yourself
h. lie
when you are with them, they are bad for you.
Just sayin. 
My 2 cents!