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Oddly enough, I really do try to not be overly emotional on here. I don't want to type all this crap when I'm upset and end up sounding like a disgruntled 14 year old who didn't get Justin Bieber tickets because her bff Jill turned into a ho (maybe not the best example hahaha). 


But I don't feel like sticking to that right now. For the past two in a half weeks I've been dealing with a friendship gone...sour lets say. And a post will follow this within the next few days about forgiveness, confrontation, and making things right before God. Which is what I've been thinking about, and more accurately stressing over for a while. Enough that my left eye twitches. A LOT. It's crazy. I feel like I've never been this stressed (which isn't true) but I think it's like this because I literally have no one to talk to about it. This friendship used to mean so much to me, and it stopped meaning that much to the other person, which hurts quite a bit, but is part of life. Why can't I talk to anyone about it? Because I don't like talking to people who don't know them, because it doesn't give an accurate description of the situation. I'm not looking to be told that I'm right here, I'm looking for someone to advise me what to do, and what they think of the situation. 
None of my close friends fit that description (ok one does. but I tried to initiate that conversation and it didn't work)
---incase I haven't been making any sense, the short version of what I'm looking for is:
-person who knows the both of us
-strong spiritually (I'm not looking for a quick fix for my conscience. I need to know that I've done right by one of God's children.)
-and someone who knows the both of us.

Some things are beyond fixing. Sometimes you just have to let things be. 

Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade.

What has come of this? 
I feel alone. Confused spiritually. This person made me feel pretty worthless, especially because when I tried to express my feelings, they took over a week to even acknowledge me. When I tried to reach out for help, I was forgotten. And:

my eye. won't. stop. twitching. (it's sort of funny, but also slightly scary because I know my body, and my mind. For it to be doing that so frequently, ie multiple times a day/hour, I am super keeping stuff in.)
 


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