God,
Thank you for my 'here' friends
Thank you for my 'there' friends
And thank you for my 'it doesn't matter if they're here or there' friends


One of my closest friends is visiting from her far away college this week, and tonight she apologized after letting it slip that she isn't really homesick, and the two of us left here (by 'here' I mean, living at home and going to a local college) looked at each other and back at her, and said:

 
That song used to mean so much to me.
 
"There's a wall that I tried to take down
What I should have said just wouldnt pass my lips
So I held back and now we've come to this

And it too late now"

And I've come to realize that it's become my life. To my closest friends I don't say what I want, because we've have too many fights, and I'm just tired. I've lost my voice.

 
Picture
SM & I in Oregon '09













Oh oh. I feel so loved. so known for who I truly am, and loved for it. and those words have never meant so much.


 
Catalyst. 2010. I leave on Wednesday for a long ass ride to Georgia (from VA) with my church. Well technically, my old church (oh awkward fun), and I am psyched! 

Last time:
I sat in between 2 people I didn't know at all, and sat with them on the ride as well. (Michelle y Dave) and it was a constant cause of nervousness for me.
This time: I am totally close to both of those people! This year only Michelle is going, but I am so glad that she is and am so comforted by that as well!

Last time: There were 4 girls in my room, including myself. (spoiler, girl moment ahead!) And ALL of us were on our periods. I literally wanted to shoot myself in the head when I found that out, mainly when I walked into the bathroom and it was like a tampon box explosion. We all laughed over it, but I'd like to think that I saw the look of panic in everyone else's eyes as well. 
This time: That's not the case, at least not for me!