Tonight I was lamenting to my very best friend how it had been put on my heart to be this prayer warrior, but how I just...hadn't been making that happen. And maybe you're thinking that's God's business (changing you into a prayer warrior, there's nothing YOU can do about it), but I truly believe that we have to be moving for Him to direct us, we can't just be sitting still and wondering why He's not moving us. It's a lot easier to steer a ship that's sailing and not just sitting at the dock, you know? 
After that phone call and watching a little bit of Glee, it dawned on me, but when I say 'it dawned on me' it was really just me feeling sad and very downtrodden and then (slightly) choosing not to feel that way, not to drown in sadness, and the helping hand that came from that decision. Trust me when I say that it was not me. I love...obedience. That's what tonight is, it's the beginning of obedience. Of not just listening, but doing. 

As I started to write down things that had been laid on my heart to really pray for, not just glean over while I'm taking a shower, but to actually put on my heart, to appeal to the God who listens and cares, it opened my eyes once again to how my ways are not God's. How right this feels. I've had this vision for a long time now of me sitting on my bed staring at the wall, and just having prayer with God. Not TO God, but with God. God showing up, and me showing up. This isn't a laid back, prayer to lull yourself to sleep. This is a burning bush, part the seas, I know my God is powerful beyond belief sort of prayer.



And so voila!
God is good. And He is going to show up. And I'm going to look back at this blog post one day and be shocked at how things have changed. How I have changed. 
Picture
the late night beginnings of a prayer wall
 



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