right here, right now. My lungs gasp for air and the fear rushes over me like a wave. I am so deep into this that I can feel the foam from it on my face, the drag of it pulling on my feet. It wants me to go deeper, further out into the ocean.

I'm finally for the first time in my life, scared of my future. I've worried, I've dreaded, I've hated the idea, but now...I'm scared. Fearful. On the brink of overwhelmed. I was dreaming too small before, and when we dream too small our very BIG God has no room in our dreams. Our hopes. Our desires. I know this to be true.

I feel the most out of control because I recognize a current when I see one, when I feel it tugging the sand from underneath my feet. My future always looked like a path before, one that branched out into different smaller trails, so...mundane compared to this. I never wanted to go to a Christian college, I had enough of that schooling throughout elementary, middle and high school. But now...things have changed. 
-----> As I finished that sentence, I started humming a song that I haven't heard sung in ages, and once the lyrics finally came to me, they were: I wanna get carried away
I wanna get tossed by Your waves
I don't care where or how deep
I'm gonna jump in with both feet
(Carried Away by Sonicflood)
 



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