We keep our biggest secrets from ourselves.

Something I’ve learned this week: Sometimes it takes arguing passionately over something to solidify your belief in it.

Over the past year (or so) I’ve gone through spurts of a phase I like to call “I want him right now!”. And by “him” I mean my future Mr. Wonderful. The love of my life. The man God made just for me. A man after God’s own heart.

Needless to say, I just can’t wait for him (or so I’ve thought). It wasn’t until this last week that I discovered…I can.

On Wednesday I argued with one of my new friends, Chris, about him actively dating, or as he calls it “looking for his mate”. Now, I completely understand no longer wanting meaningless relationships with the opposite sex; dating for the sole purpose of finding your spouse. Personally, I don’t think there is any other reason to date. However, I don’t believe in going out with random people in hopes of finding ‘the one’. Instead, my approach is a more…well, calm one. I believe in making friends, and if one day you realize that you are in love with that person, than there you go. I’m aware that that may sound odd to you, but if you think about it, when you’re friends with someone, there isn’t the stress of “oh, we might be compatible, let me keep my weird habits/baggage to myself”. As friends you know the good and the bad, and you learn to love the person for who they really are, whereas when you date (in my opinion) sometimes it turns into you being who you want your potential significant other to see. You suppress your quirks, and sometimes even your opinions in hopes of being that perfect person. And lets face it…one day, they’re going to discover the real you. And that might not be so pretty.

Hence…friends first being my rule.

Where am I going with this… well. He (Chris) greatly disagreed with me, and ended up saying that he wasn’t willing to sit on his butt all day and just wait for the right person to waltz into his life. I found this offensive, and called him a douche. But that’s another story…

Before this conversation I was like him, but instead of actively dating, it was more like actively complaining. To my parents, to my friends, to God, all about how I wish I had found the guy, how it seems like I’m always the ‘friend’ blah blah blah. So really, I didn’t have much of a leg to stand on in this conversation. But arguing over all this made me see…that I’m young! That I like being single, because I’d rather have no one than a relationship that isn’t going to end well. That…I’m not ready to have someone else depending on me. I need to work on becoming who I want to be and more importantly who I’m called to be.  And after all of this, what verse do I end up reading?

 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow…” –Matthew 6:34


2/20/2010 03:19:34 pm

oh my goodness, Erin. i loved reading this. because of knowing you for the last few years i've gotten to hear you talk about serious things and really explain what you believe and it's always really great to hear. wonderfulwonderfulwonderful.

2/21/2010 09:48:21 am

aw, thanks dude!


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