So, so much.
Yesterday I was reading super random blogs (one of my favorite past times, I love being allowed into people's thoughts and dreams, into their heart), and eventually last night became all about babies.
Maybe because being a mom is all I've ever wanted.
Maybe because if Jonathan and I get back together and survive, and decide to stay together, it will be a very long time before he is out of debt and we can get married and have kids.
Maybe it's because if we don't survive, that leaves me single, and dangit if I don't plan on being single for a looooooong time if that happens.

At the end of the day, the "kids" portion of my life was up in the air.
But then I was reading a woman's post about her birth story, and how she got to sit on a yoga ball, and walk around, and had a water birth, and then I saw it.
Me in labor.
And I knew it would happen.
I still don't know who it will be with. But that isn't for me to know right now.
Right now, today, as I type this, I am filled with so much hope! A hope and knowledge that is steadfast, that what I saw will happen.
 



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