I write and draw to overcome the perfectionist inside of me who tries to insist that I only share that which I deem 'perfect' with others. I find the only way to fight that is to put stuff out there that is imperfect and not to hope that it'll be accepted, but be fine no matter people's reaction. 
That's how I look at life too. If we only present the parts of ourself that we deem 'perfect', or at least our versions of it, then what are we really showing? It's what people do on dates, you talk about the nice stuff, the stuff about you that you're comfortable sharing. I've always found that weird, and part of me has always wondered if it wouldn't be better to give the good with the bad, cause isn't that in the long run what you're going to be asking the person to love? The good and the bad parts of you?
Of course I feel like a complete hypocrite writing that, because I do that. On purpose too. In fact, I'm so tired of the imperfect me, or at least parts of the imperfect me, that I've decided to cut them out of my presentation at all. Which is majorly difficult, because I've come to find out that means that I can't really be myself. I am imperfect. And I don't really know how to deal with that.
I don't know why I am loved.
I don't know how I can put my friends through dealing with me. 
So I've decided that they shouldn't have to.
"And that's all I have to say about that." (Forrest Gump people. Wouldn't it be awesome to write a paper for class and see how many Forrest quotes you could fit in there?)

I've finally started drawing. No inhibitions. No worrying about it being perfect. I love it. I'm entering in a few of them to see if they could be in an art show. Said art show is also on my birthday, and wouldn't that just be amazing with a capital amazing!?
One of them I just felt like drawing trees, and is actually the finished product of this one. The other two are unfinished, and the horse is actually for a family friend who just gave me $50 and this is just a beastly fun way to say THANK YOU SO MUCH YO! 
psst. click on them to make them bigger. 

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.

Leave a Reply.