Transparency...

I have a 'new' group of friends who I am growing to love dearly. We have 'Epic Monday Nights' and we connect and we sit in a circle and sing Kumbaya  (ok that last one isn't true). They are just...great. They're actually my first group of friends who are not predominantly 'church friends' or 'high school friends'. Yes, a few of them are from church, but I only got to know them from Epic Monday Nights. Just wanted to clear that up before I felt like I was lying. With this new group of friends has come a freedom to be myself that is wonderful. Recently I was talking with one of my friends who also partakes in the funness (yeah. I made up my own word) about being transparent in the group and how we really feel called to be transparent in our friendships. I think that's great. In theory. But WOAH when it comes to applying it for certain things in my past and present, look out! Do you see that puff of smoke? Yeah, I left that in my wake as I sprinted toward the door. 

 I love transparency. I love being honest. But when it comes down to it, only a handful of people have ever made it to the inner-sanctum of my heart. There are just certain things that I do not talk about. And that is the sort of resoundingly true statement that I feel like I could get it carved into stone and carry it around with me, it is THAT true. Which maybe...isn't the best thing. 

The truth is...I share personal stuff, I uncover my heart. But just to surface level. Just in my comfort zone. And that's how it is with everyone. Ready for some for reals truth? 

I wouldn't rock a blatantly obvious Christian t-shirt at my college because I don't like how Christians are viewed, and I'd rather make my own impression than have one put on me. And I'm not that comfortable starting up a random conversation with random people about God. I'm just not there. But I would wear one to Walmart?

But I also wouldn't rock a t-shirt that said 'Not Gay But Supportive' to Epic Monday Night. But I would to Walmart.

And that was me being transparent. 

(I've wanted one of these shirts for SO long.)