Out in the middle of nowhere I’ve found myself really thinking about some things, mainly what I think is true, and what I know is true. I’ve found that I think a lot of things are true, but I do not know a lot of things are true. Superficial things aren’t especially counted, such as I know that the sky is blue [and beautiful and inspires amazing introspection and looks amazing all the time, night or day]. So this is going to be a series, of what I know is true. And maybe sometimes there will be a ‘what I think is true’ or even a ‘what I hope is true’.
Let us begin.
What I know is true:
God rescued me.
Let us begin.
What I know is true:
God rescued me.
There was a time in my life that my brain and my heart always jumps back to when someone says that I’m “naïve” or that I “haven’t been through anything”. My brain thinks “sure, sure” sarcastically and my heart…well my heart remembers.
My heart remembers the intense pain and the crying and internal screaming. It remembers knowing I needed help and not getting any. I remember feeling like I needed to drive into a tree, because that was the only way I wouldn’t be haunted anymore.
[Random side note, if you haven’t figured it out already, don’t ever assume that someone hasn’t gone through something because they weren’t raised poor. That’s stupid. Literally. You are always richer than someone else out there, and always poorer. Always smarter and always stupider. Always happier, always sadder. It’s called life]
It came to the point where I knew I wasn’t the normal teenage depressed. Mainly because of the nature of what had happened to me and the ungodly voice I heard screaming from inside of me whenever I thought about it. I knew I had to make a choice, to die and have what I thought was peace, or cling to the hope that God is good and that if I reached out He would be there. Well, you’re reading this, so you know what I chose. And this is the honest to God no lying I’ll place my hand on any book you want and swear to God that I wouldn’t trade all of that for the world; because it was the ultimate rescue, at least for my life. Before everything happened I was heading down a horrible path of the wrong people, places, and life choices. Also, my life has changed so much since then and none of it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t hit my rock bottom [yes, rock bottom looks different for everyone.]
There was hope given to me. A new outlook on my messed up and bloody world. I reached out and He was there waiting. I felt and still feel like one of those old dudes in a prison, you know, those guys who have been in there for life and tell new comers about Jesus. They’re not the normal person you’d think would be passionate about God, but they are, because they know what freedom is and what freedom isn’t. They recognize it better than most. So I’ll listen to people talk about hypocritical Christians and agree with them [although I’d like to point out for the sake of honesty, everyone is hypocritical.] But at the end of the day, faith isn’t based on Christians or Christ Followers or Believers. You can’t know someone by just knowing their friends [or “friends” as some would say]. I’m not saying that Christians haven’t done us all wrong someway, because most of us HAVE had a bad experience with a Christian or with the church. Most people have felt judged. But what I’m saying here is that it’s not about THEM, it’s about HIM.
He rescued me.
It wasn’t all happy go lucky after that, but having God with me, there was hope that wasn’t there before. I was shown that I wasn’t alone, and that was such a big thing to me [and still is]. There was love and acceptance.
There was no judgment or condemnation.
And God was the only who could’ve done the rescuing. This was many, many years ago and even though I’ve gotten better at talking about everything, at that point I never could have reached out and gotten the help that I needed. But God already knew.
And Christians may be wrong a lot of the time, but there is one thing that they have right.
God loves you.
Jesus loves you.
You know that sign that the one random guy holds up at football game says?
John 3:16.
It’s true.
So I’m not asking you to give Christians a chance, or creationism a chance, or singing songs at church a chance. I’m asking you to give the God who created this leaf with amazing detail and vivid beauty a chance.
Why?
Cause He’ll rescue you.
My heart remembers the intense pain and the crying and internal screaming. It remembers knowing I needed help and not getting any. I remember feeling like I needed to drive into a tree, because that was the only way I wouldn’t be haunted anymore.
[Random side note, if you haven’t figured it out already, don’t ever assume that someone hasn’t gone through something because they weren’t raised poor. That’s stupid. Literally. You are always richer than someone else out there, and always poorer. Always smarter and always stupider. Always happier, always sadder. It’s called life]
It came to the point where I knew I wasn’t the normal teenage depressed. Mainly because of the nature of what had happened to me and the ungodly voice I heard screaming from inside of me whenever I thought about it. I knew I had to make a choice, to die and have what I thought was peace, or cling to the hope that God is good and that if I reached out He would be there. Well, you’re reading this, so you know what I chose. And this is the honest to God no lying I’ll place my hand on any book you want and swear to God that I wouldn’t trade all of that for the world; because it was the ultimate rescue, at least for my life. Before everything happened I was heading down a horrible path of the wrong people, places, and life choices. Also, my life has changed so much since then and none of it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t hit my rock bottom [yes, rock bottom looks different for everyone.]
There was hope given to me. A new outlook on my messed up and bloody world. I reached out and He was there waiting. I felt and still feel like one of those old dudes in a prison, you know, those guys who have been in there for life and tell new comers about Jesus. They’re not the normal person you’d think would be passionate about God, but they are, because they know what freedom is and what freedom isn’t. They recognize it better than most. So I’ll listen to people talk about hypocritical Christians and agree with them [although I’d like to point out for the sake of honesty, everyone is hypocritical.] But at the end of the day, faith isn’t based on Christians or Christ Followers or Believers. You can’t know someone by just knowing their friends [or “friends” as some would say]. I’m not saying that Christians haven’t done us all wrong someway, because most of us HAVE had a bad experience with a Christian or with the church. Most people have felt judged. But what I’m saying here is that it’s not about THEM, it’s about HIM.
He rescued me.
It wasn’t all happy go lucky after that, but having God with me, there was hope that wasn’t there before. I was shown that I wasn’t alone, and that was such a big thing to me [and still is]. There was love and acceptance.
There was no judgment or condemnation.
And God was the only who could’ve done the rescuing. This was many, many years ago and even though I’ve gotten better at talking about everything, at that point I never could have reached out and gotten the help that I needed. But God already knew.
And Christians may be wrong a lot of the time, but there is one thing that they have right.
God loves you.
Jesus loves you.
You know that sign that the one random guy holds up at football game says?
John 3:16.
It’s true.
So I’m not asking you to give Christians a chance, or creationism a chance, or singing songs at church a chance. I’m asking you to give the God who created this leaf with amazing detail and vivid beauty a chance.
Why?
Cause He’ll rescue you.
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