Most nights I lay in bed and try and fight the swirling whirling thoughts that somehow only come alive at night. I try and calm down and simply go to sleep. But normally, I toss and turn.
Recently, my heart has started praying before bed. Last night I felt this longing and instantly starting praying for my ex. Then for the friends that are seemingly no longer friends. Than for all the people I am thankful for. And sprinkled among those, I thanked God for me. For keeping me alive, for my wonderful life, for everything.
I used to find it difficult to thank God for my life, or even to pray for myself. It felt selfish and egocentric for some reason. However, now when I finally start breathing heavier and slower, when I feel peace settling in, every exhale seems like a Thank You.
Tonight I go to bed not restless. I go to bed looking forward to the morning, and as I climb into bed emotionally drained all my mind comes up with to twirl around is:
"Tomorrow will be better"
and that...well that's true.
Recently, my heart has started praying before bed. Last night I felt this longing and instantly starting praying for my ex. Then for the friends that are seemingly no longer friends. Than for all the people I am thankful for. And sprinkled among those, I thanked God for me. For keeping me alive, for my wonderful life, for everything.
I used to find it difficult to thank God for my life, or even to pray for myself. It felt selfish and egocentric for some reason. However, now when I finally start breathing heavier and slower, when I feel peace settling in, every exhale seems like a Thank You.
Tonight I go to bed not restless. I go to bed looking forward to the morning, and as I climb into bed emotionally drained all my mind comes up with to twirl around is:
"Tomorrow will be better"
and that...well that's true.
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