I've been thinking lately, well, more like wondering, if love is like forgiveness. A new concept that was introduced to me on Sunday circa '5 Love Languages' is that forgiveness isn't a feeling, it's a choice. I'm gonna let you in on a secret
I had no idea.
Literally. There have been times when I wanted to forgive people, but couldn't. What they did just hurt so deeply, that although in my mind I forgave them, I just couldn't shake that feeling of hurt. And then a long came this book and this concept and it was like:
I had no idea.
Literally. There have been times when I wanted to forgive people, but couldn't. What they did just hurt so deeply, that although in my mind I forgave them, I just couldn't shake that feeling of hurt. And then a long came this book and this concept and it was like:
BAM!
Forgiveness is a choice, not an action *insert my head exploding here*
Alright, that may have been more dramatic then what it actually was. But it was big for me, maybe because forgiveness has always come pretty easy for me. 2nd chances? sure. Back to what I've been wondering.
Receiving love. For most people, it's more than hearing the words "I love you". I know for me, they don't mean a lot. (There are random people that those words do mean a lot coming from, but those are the ones who rarely say it and don't say it nonchalantly or as a goodbye. Not hatin' on the ones that do, just sayin!) For some people they feel loved when someone folds them into a big hug, and lets them take a breath. Now THAT sounds like a great hug. That hug says "I love you and I am here for you" along with "I got your back" and "you're awesome". Hugs say a lot, didn't you know?
And of course there's other ways of giving and receiving love. Read the book people! (I only got through one chapter, I don't actually own the book, so I have to sit inside Barnes & Noble to read it. And take notes. Its a little sad, but also enjoyable)
So yeah. I've been wondering if when I don't feel loved (lets just use the "I love you" thing as an example) maybe I should decide that me feeling love is controllable; I can decide that words of affirmation make me feel loved. Now I've got to tell you, I have no idea how that would work. It doesn't sound like it would work at all to me, but it's a nice concept to try, and you really never know!
Oh and as a side note!
I just think "I love you" is thrown around a lot. I love the intention, but it's just not for me, as you've read. I think its better and more affirming and heck, just more meaningful if you say something different, something expanding on those feelings. Tell someone that you love their friendship, that you really look forward to talking to them, that they're important to you, that when you think of them it always makes you smile.
Alright, that may have been more dramatic then what it actually was. But it was big for me, maybe because forgiveness has always come pretty easy for me. 2nd chances? sure. Back to what I've been wondering.
Receiving love. For most people, it's more than hearing the words "I love you". I know for me, they don't mean a lot. (There are random people that those words do mean a lot coming from, but those are the ones who rarely say it and don't say it nonchalantly or as a goodbye. Not hatin' on the ones that do, just sayin!) For some people they feel loved when someone folds them into a big hug, and lets them take a breath. Now THAT sounds like a great hug. That hug says "I love you and I am here for you" along with "I got your back" and "you're awesome". Hugs say a lot, didn't you know?
And of course there's other ways of giving and receiving love. Read the book people! (I only got through one chapter, I don't actually own the book, so I have to sit inside Barnes & Noble to read it. And take notes. Its a little sad, but also enjoyable)
So yeah. I've been wondering if when I don't feel loved (lets just use the "I love you" thing as an example) maybe I should decide that me feeling love is controllable; I can decide that words of affirmation make me feel loved. Now I've got to tell you, I have no idea how that would work. It doesn't sound like it would work at all to me, but it's a nice concept to try, and you really never know!
Oh and as a side note!
I just think "I love you" is thrown around a lot. I love the intention, but it's just not for me, as you've read. I think its better and more affirming and heck, just more meaningful if you say something different, something expanding on those feelings. Tell someone that you love their friendship, that you really look forward to talking to them, that they're important to you, that when you think of them it always makes you smile.
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