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Yup. It sure freakin is. [so if that upsets you, and you need to go cry in a corner for a little while, go ahead. I completely understand]

Anywho! For those of you that don't know, I'm an awkward hugger. Heck, normally I just don't even do it. I don't initiate hugs and I give off no body language signals [or morse code or whatever] that implies that I want a hug. It's just not my thing. [thats a lie. you'll see why later]

Growing up, I loved hugs. Great big bear hugs; I gave them to everybody. The more the merrier! 
Things changed. Have you ever been rejected for a hug? I have. Then my mind ran with it, and it became an insecurity. 
~~~You might be wondering why I'm even talking about this~~~
Well you see...I just want you people out there to know [the people reading this, who have no qualms over hugging] how lucky you are. Maybe luck is the wrong word. Feel free to fill in the appropriate one in your head. 

Also, I just wanted to get these thoughts out. Tonight I was asked why I hug sideways, even in a forward hug. I had no clue that I did such a thing. [hence the term 'awkward hugger'] Then I realized it's because I'm quite scared of bumping heads. Thus increasing my awkwardness! And all of this adds up to.......
woah! I need to get rid of this insecurity! It's crazy!

At the end of the day, I secretly love hugs. I wish they were longer and I think its stupid that its awkward if you give a 'long hug'. I think we all feel the need to be close to someone. Yes, a boyfriend/girlfriend/blah blah blah/ but also to your friends. to your family. I could go into a rant here about long and short hugs, and what the seem to 'mean'. But thats a little crazy cat ladyish/starved for physical attention-y of me. So I won't. But you all know what I mean! [hahaha]

 


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