Opposite of Speechless

of a day or a part of a day where I don't have to worry about people worrying where I am. About not needing to check my phone on the off chance that someone has texted me wondering something that needs to be answered quickly, or that my parents have called. I dream of a day that I don't ever have to look at what time it is, or have to keep track of time because I have to be somewhere later. A day where the person I'm with doesn't check their phone, because they're concentrating on the day we are having. Where right now, right here, is enough. There's no need for other distractions.

Yeah, part of this dream does involve another person. I get that people need to check their phones like it's their life line; I do the same thing. But do you ever wonder what it would be like for you to be enough for one person, even for just a little bit of time? 
I do.

I want to remember lifting Tim onto the trampoline and bouncing with him, and the way he smiles so huge. Lying up looking at the night sky and crying and talking to God, and feeling walls go down in my heart that I had built up years ago. Telling Dave my deepest secret and watching him take a minute before saying anything. Sitting on the floor with Travis for ages just talking, and having a genuine open dialogue. Anmary and Pedro’s faces when she walked down the aisle at their wedding. Finally getting to the Osbourn's house, seeing Amber smiling at me, knowing that she was genuinely happy to see me, and that it was all going to be alright. Crying along with thousands of people at Catalyst while Gungor played ‘Beautiful Things’ and knowing I wasn’t alone in feeling so hurt and so healed.

A few days ago I added another name to my 'list of names I love/want to name my children'
Maybe that sounds crazy to you. Maybe it doesn't. Personally, I've had this list since 1st or 2nd grade. And sure, the names have changed (some of them), I no longer want to name one of my girls Jo, after Josephine March. (The main character from Little Women, it was my favorite book in 2nd grade). I've also gone back and forth over whether or not to give names that run in my family, such as Michael and David. I love both of those names, which I think should be enough. Doesn't the name David Keagan sound amazing? But back to the point of this blog!
Just kidding, there is no real point. Do you care? I don't.

I was listening to a song and that lyric "your name feels good on my lips" was sung, and I started thinking...
the only name that feels good on my lips are on this list of names. And only because I'm looking forward to these loves like none other. 


The newest name:
Kai.
It sounds like tie.
But means 'the sea'
So awesome.

I know, I'm going a little crazy with the ASL numbers. So sue me. 
Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful.

I wasn't going to do this writing prompt, to be honest with you blog world. The word 'beautiful' throws me off. But I can certainly tell you what makes me different.

Well. This is a pretty simple one. I'm part of this great group of friends that just started/formed this past year. They're awesome, I love them, and am extremely thankful that God put them all into my life. I think they count as community?

I definitely want to more deeply connect with a church in the upcoming year. I definitely saw what I wanted in a church family/community when I went to Oregon, I wrote about it here. 

Prompt number 6: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

Well. The last thing I made was two things (I know, I know, I've just gotta be different and make two things at one time). 

(Hopefully tomorrow, 12/13/10, I will catch up on multiple Reverb 10 blog posts, but for now, I'm doing this list that one of my friends did on her blog. It looked like fun.)

Blue Line
And it’s that time again when its
Like you have the shakes and everything starts getting intense
And you don’t know if you’re tripping or detoxing
But you know that its been too long since you put words down on paper
And made them your words turned into your poem
Ownership
Of your feelings
Of your humanness
Which may or may not be word but in my realm it is because it effects
Everything

and what have you done?"
I love that Christmas song! (Happy Christmas, War Is Over by John Lennon)
I love this Christmas, blog world. I am so happy. I haven't been happy around Christmas for years and years. I know it will sound stupid to some of you, but I always think about that song 'I'll Be Home For Christmas' and I just get so deeply sad that some of my loved ones won't (because...they're dead). But to some of you, who have lost important people in your life, you'll understand. 

When I read this I knew exactly who I had let go of this year. I have never let go of a friendship so completely as this person.
---> The only other person I have strived to let go of a friendship with is my past, current, and future best friend. She and I have a history of banishing our friendship (or at least trying to), and I thank God that isn't in our present or future. During all those time of fighting and trying to ignore the huge hole in my life without her there, I never actually accomplished not missing her and wishing she was in my life. And she was always across the country missing me.