Opposite of Speechless

write about what you know.

So here you go (remember to click on the pictures, it makes them bigger and lets you read the captions):

----What I see a lot----

I write and draw to overcome the perfectionist inside of me who tries to insist that I only share that which I deem 'perfect' with others. I find the only way to fight that is to put stuff out there that is imperfect and not to hope that it'll be accepted, but be fine no matter people's reaction. 
That's how I look at life too. If we only present the parts of ourself that we deem 'perfect', or at least our versions of it, then what are we really showing? It's what people do on dates, you talk about the nice stuff, the stuff about you that you're comfortable sharing. I've always found that weird, and part of me has always wondered if it wouldn't be better to give the good with the bad, cause isn't that in the long run what you're going to be asking the person to love? The good and the bad parts of you?

I feel like I have so many rules for myself, and I often wonder if other people do as well. 
Surprisingly, I also don't feel hemmed in by all my rules, or at least I don't all the time. Maybe you need some examples....

[keep in mind when you read this that for once I'm not writing at 2am, instead I'm not exactly rushing, but not exactly in the mood to wonder if my sentences all make sense/be super deep. So just go with the flow!]


Well I don't know if you remember me talking about wishing I had a song, I wrote about it back in October/November (here's the link), but that is what this post is a sequel to. Sorta.


Sometimes, God doesn't see your hurt and say "Here, I'll take care of that right here and now." even though He wants to. And because of that I got to deal once again, just like we all do, with having faith when we can't see God in a real "hey, let me give you a hug." sort of way.

is my first day of ASL 4. My friend Amber and I were talking about it and I decided to make her/you guys a video talking about it. 
Some things you should know before hand:
I'm quiet in this video because there's people asleep in the room next to mine.
When I'm nervous, I wear my firefighter shirt, because I'm just cool like that.

I've wanted to name one of my boy's after Ponyboy Curtis ever since I first read The Outsiders. Preferably a middle name (duh!). My next blog post will be focusing on a movie (or 2), along with a writing prompt that my friend Amber gave me. I love writing prompts, I think they're wonderful. Really just because I love questions and introspection, which is all a writing prompt is at it's core.

Tonight was just about one of the hardest nights I've had with dealing with a friend and discussing our relationship/problems in a very intentional and intense way. Enough that I almost cried multiple times, but left feeling good...and numb. Do you ever feel like you just aren't good enough? And not that people demand you to be, but you just want to be? 

and it feels so gross.

I'm a little stressed in anticipation of a transition that is quickly approaching, and frankly, I just need to talk about it.

I guess I just don't have anything deep to say lately. But here's a fun list:

-Sometimes people see things in me that I don't see in myself. I used to deny them, say that they were wrong, that what they saw wasn't in me and now...I just don't care. If I look at my heart and do or do not see something, it doesn't really matter, as long as I give whatever it is to God. That's my simple, yet very peaceful answer. 
-I watched Forrest Gump again this week, and was reminded  both of how much I love that movie, and how much I love one of my best friends. We agreed a long time ago that we are like peas and carrots, and I absolutely love that.
-Skype is amazing and I think way more people should have it.
-Love languages are amazing with how different they can be. I've come to realize that I really don't feel appreciated when someone tells me something, but if someone openly expresses that they want time with me? Woah. That's awesome stuff.
-Two of my friends and I have a tradition of going to an island around here and taking 'band pictures'. Granted, none of us really play any musical instruments, but wow are we good at taking these things!